Monday, October 24, 2016

15 Minutes of Fame

I was in a melancholy mood this morning, trying to feel the things I love about Autumn while living in this weird headspace wherein I am far too aware of my failures and limitations to allow myself a dream escape. 

At some point during the thirty minutes I have to myself (after I reluctantly awake but before I even more grudgingly get ready for work) a thought formed in my mind, as I scrolled through Go Pro Bro's Instagram while listening to "Life In Technicolor"...

I don't do Instagram. I don't do social media. Y'all know that. I lie to myself and say it's because I don't have a smart phone, when in reality it's because I have nothing interesting to share with the world. I don't go anywhere. I don't do anything. I don't know anyone. 

The picture at the top of this post was taken at least three years ago (you can tell it's not current because the trees are bare) and only about five minutes from my house. I haven't done any sightseeing since that time - just the necessary walk home from work three times a week. 

Walking used to be a thing I did to clear my head and relieve my stress. Now I just take naps. It's not that the great outdoors doesn't interest me anymore, it does... I guess. It's just that I've grown tired of the surrounding area and I can't get to anywhere interesting.

Go Pro Bro is a professional photographer. He takes pictures of some incredible natural wonders. 'Tis his job, after all. And for a moment at least (perhaps even two moments) I wasn't envious of his surfer boy looks or that gorgeous girlfriend of his...

I sat at my computer wondering what it's like to travel, to see the world, to have something to share with friends and strangers alike.

This is GPB's. I'll take it down in a day or two.

That feeling had started to creep in last week, when I peeked thru Taryn's Instagram. She's in Germany now. No idea why, but it seems like that girl has the perfect life. How does one make enough money in visual media to travel the world on a whim? I always say it pays to be attractive - but it also pays to be creative. And I am neither. 

My high school bff and I used to be baseball buddies. We'd talk for hours about every team, every player - even the CGI players on his baseball sim. For years we were inseparable - and because we had similar interests and similar builds, at least one guy thought we were brothers. Which led to me henceforth refer to him as my "Brother From Another Mother."

But last summer he moved to California without saying goodbye, just as our high school friend Nirvana John had done nearly 20 years earlier. Frickin' Cali, man. They've got my two favorite girls (three including Jennifer Lawrence) and my two best high school buds.

I feel a California playlist percolating in my head...maybe next post ;)

Anyway... every now and then, Wifey will report on what my friends are up to, since she follows them on Facebook. And my "Brother" travels a lot for ComicCons and whatnot. It's his life now. I'm not even sure if he likes baseball anymore.

My mom kinda laughs at a grown ass man in his early-to-mid 30's playing dress-up when he should be looking for a wife (or some such nonsense). But... he's famous. Seriously.

Google "McThor." Go ahead, I'll wait. 

Yep. That's him, being all famous and shit. He's even got a small role in the new Thor movie. Very, very small. Microscopic. But still... He's in the new Thor movie.

And he's not the only one of my (almost) famous friends...

My only remaining friend, my lifelong bff since we were ten years old, was in a band. 

Big deal, right? Lots of kids are in a band. And yeah, I went to a few of his shows when he was 15, playing in front of twenty of his closest friends at the local meeting halls.

Then a few years ago he joined an established band... and toured Europe... and recorded an album for a real record label. They're on and everything. Check it.

Last time I saw him he lamented that he was falling behind in life, that he hadn't accomplished anything. His twin brother smacked some sense into him right quick. 

You were in a band. You played shows in f*cking Europe. You lived your dream. 

He's the very Swedish-looking bassist in the above video. And it's not like they were super-famous or anything, but still. He got to create something, and travel the world, and share his talents with thousands of people. He did indeed live his dream. For two years.

My two best friends - my only two friends - have had their fifteen minutes of fame. 

Shall I mention that my ex-gf published a Harry Potter companion and my college crush was in a Microsoft Windows commercial? (side note: I crushed on her when she was 20, she did that commercial seven years ago... and she just turned 30. my God, where does the time go?)

I really don't know that many people. Honest. I don't even follow people on social media. Just Taryn, really. And she's already famous - in a 21st century sort of way - so she doesn't count in this case, because I've never personally interacted with her. I don't even like leaving comments on her YouTube videos because I feel like I'm trying to impress her and grab her attention - and my fragile ego could not handle yet another failure.

Are you famous? Do you have any famous friends? Have you ever been on the news, or in the local newspaper? Ever performed in front of a crowd, or traveled the world to share your talent? Share your "fifteen minutes of fame" story in comments!



  1. I once ran down Jerry Brown, the current governor of California, with my car. Does that count?

    1. That's hilarious. Have you told that story on your blog? I can't remember. It seems so weird that he was the governor when I was pretty young and now I'm pretty old and he's the governor again. When does it end?


  2. I kinda sorta had my fifteen minutes of fame because I was a newspaper reporter when people still read newspapers. Now I'm only famous in my own mind. I don't think I know anyone famous. Some famous people went to my high school, but they were all older than I was and I never met any of them (Katrina of Katrina and the Waves, most of the members of Kansas, Dee Wallace Stone who played the mom in ET). I have a smart phone but I'm not into a lot of social media. I don't even know what instagram is. And you are too creative. You're a great writer, so don't fucking tell me you're not creative.


    1. Thank you Janie. I do try to be creative with my posts. And I feel terrible that I haven't been able to visit your blog - I was so bummed about missing the latest round of BOTB, but October is just busy, busy, busy....

      ...anyway, that's really awesome that you were a newspaper reporter. I did freelance for a local paper exactly once...really enjoyed it, but they didn't pay me for like three months so I didn't take any more assignments. I would have done school paper things but...anxiety.

      Instagram is sort of a picture blog, where people post their selfies, throw on a caption and a ton of hashtags, and everyone tells them how beautiful they are and/or how amazing their life is. It's kinda disturbing if you think about I try not to :/

    2. Thanks for the explanation. Instagram is not for me. Most stuff is not for me.

  3. As a writer I have had my 15 minutes of fame. Getting to interview musicians and go to a lot of great shows. My brother in law is a some what famous athlete. But they have the fame and fortune, I got my real life. Which includes a lot of blessings, struggles, and what the heck moments.

  4. I have not met a President or stood on the top of Everest gasping for oxygen and I have not fought a lion or danced with Sophia Loren but I have held the hand of a dying man and I have slept on a Grecian beach listening to the lapping of the blue Aegean Sea and once I found an injured cat by the side of the road and brought him home.

  5. "I am far too aware of my failures and limitations to allow myself a dream escape." remember that what you call a failure and limitation others call success. hoping this little tidbit brightens up your day a bit. we forget how important we are when we are surrounded by people who do the same thing as us, i.e. we go to the same job, we enjoy the same hobbies, etc. i think we sometimes need to take a step back and realise that your reality is someone else's dream.

    "I have nothing interesting to share with the world." how paradoxical. given that you're posting this on a social media blog. honestly, people that have social media have nothing to share with the world either. they are just wasting time. i can guarantee this.

    "I sat at my computer wondering what it's like to travel, to see the world, to have something to share with friends and strangers alike." why wonder? i think that longing is a futile feeling. if you want something, go get it. others have. you can too. it's hard. it's difficult, but it's what /you/ want. and thus, it's worth it. as for me, i have no interest in such things. what i want is very small and simple, and i work towards what i want. life doesn't have to be difficult or black and white. it just is. and it's as simple as you want it to be.

    sorry that my first comment back and i'm already dissecting the meaning of life. but i think that it's true.

    people on social media perpetuate the idea that their lives are perfect. their lives are far from that. what separates you from others is... very little in actuality. both from a biological perspective and otherwise. i am somewhat different. i see the normal human being and i try to go against it. i'm content this way.

    i would be jealous for you, but honestly, that's spectacular.

    i hear the word HP. i am intrigued.

    i don't really have any fifteen minute of fame stories. i don't really care for getting any either. i think my contentment with my life is making this comment seem incredibly biased.

    not a very good comment after a long absence. either way, i hope you're doing well! hope i've not said anything offensive with my never-ending babble!

    -Sam Lupin